Sneaking Out to the Fair

I got the opportunity to sneak out to the state fair with the kids today with my free tickets from the local country station. Normally I buy a poppy pack (4 tickets, 4 monorail tickets, and a parking pass for $40) and I usually go several times but since we're in the middle of moving it didn't seem very bright to spend money on tickets that I wasn't sure if I'd be able to use. I was happy however, that Cliff and I found a way to make my free tickets work for me and that I was able to enjoy the fair as much as I normally do. 

Our plan, was for me to take all the kids in the morning (okay, afternoon, it doesn't open until 12 anyway), have Kim pick up the boys from the fair (probably around 4:30), then for Cliff to pick up Evelyn after work (around 5:30), and for me to be able to see whatever else I may not have been able to with the kids in tow. 

Our plan, was pretty much perfect. All the kids slept in, Isaac until just before 10am, so we had a light breakfast (or in Isaac's case-not eat at all), I packed lunch, and we headed to the fair. Parking was crazy, but I got really lucky and found a nice spot, not too far away pretty easily. And, I didn't have to try to parallel park, I was able to just pull in!

It was the perfect day to be at the fair. Not too busy, not too hot, and a nice breeze rolling through. This years attraction was 'big bugs'. Ick! The boys like it. I thought it was gross and Evelyn was a little scared. Really lifelike, very large, very ugly bugs. And also, some real creepy crawlies like scorpions and tarantulas. 

The kids and I went to camp Smokey first and each of the kids earned a Smokey the Bear Bandanna after we finished all the school houses. It was nice getting to do it this year when it wasn't so super crowded like last year. 

We headed over to the baby animals but the attraction was closed for the day. Boo. They had a farm life kids activity area set up where you could 'clean' a pen of animals, saddle a horse, play music, dress up like a cowboy, ride in tractor races, and milk a cow. All toys of course, but it kept all the kids entertained for a decent amount of time. We also went through the farm and looked at the big cows and silly goats, but it just wasn't as interesting or fun as the babies so we moved onto the garden to get all of our stamps there. They made it much smaller this year, but they put in some new plants like rice. It's always fun to show kids what their food looks like as a plant when they wouldn't have recognized it at all.  

My sunflowers weren't nearly as impressive this year, but I still love them so I took a quick photo as the kids ran though.

Oh my goodness, Evelyn wanted to touch every waterfall she saw, and of course, non of them are touchable. That girl is obsessed. Even the little water flow at the top of the touchable fish area she was obsessed over. When she saw her brothers touch the sturgeon she wanted to touch one too... that is, until it swam right at her. Then she was all done with the fish tanks. 

In the counties exhibits they had a mini f-16 that the kids were able to sit in. Evelyn just had to sit with Alex. 

When the boys went home Evelyn and I headed to one of my favorite areas to look in the buildings. The attraction this year was Golden Fairs and Rock-U. I was not a fan. As for the photography it fell flat this year, very little actually intrigued me. The cheese sample was good like always, but the bee people were very busy so I just skipped it. I took Evelyn into Fur and Feathers so she could see the bunnies and we found out we got to pet chinchillas! She did great and they were so soft, I couldn't believe it!

Since I had one ticket left I conned Cliff to join me at the fair so he could get fresh funnel cake. He chose instead an ice cream cone and then we got two ears of BBQ corn and a large lemonade. We did pass the deep fried butter and I think just seeing that sign grossed me out enough that I wanted nothing to do with anything else deep fried. Plus, Alex and I had earlier split a nutella banana crepe and I was pretty sweet-ed out. 

I wanted to get proof that Cliff went to the fair, even if only for an hour, but there just wasn't anywhere worth while to take a picture (and not be in the sun) so no hard proof. When we walked back to the car though Evelyn, who hadn't napped all day, was being so cute. Leaning all proper like in the front of her stroller and she was so happy when Daddy picked her a flower. 

I got my moneys worth out of my coupon book, but I don't think I'll get it next year. Finding the exact booth that takes that exact coupon was a really big pain in the butt. For example, even though there were about 5 fresh squeezed lemonade stands only one of them took a coupon, and there's dozens of BBQ corn stands but again, only 1 took a coupon. The stands had names and numbers that were supposed to help you, but it was so obscure it didn't help me at all. Most the coupons I was able to use were just pure luck that I found the right place. 

All in all, I normally spend 40 (or more) dollars just to get into the fair every year when I buy my Poppy Pack. Then I always get a fried food and sweet treat (another $6-$8 each). This year my tickets were free and I chose to walk in place of paying for parking. I got more food than I normally do but I still kept it under $40. It's like I went to the fair and had all that fun, entirely for free.

Too Young to Notice

I went to PF Changs tonight for the first time in my adult life. I had delicious food, great company, mediocre service, and a TERRIBLE experience. And, it had nothing to do with how busy the place was. The waitress was a bare minimum waitress. I can get over that since they were busy although I would of preferred that she at least acknowledge how busy they were, or maybe apologize for never being around, but some people just aren't like that and it's okay.

What bothered me was how I felt Evelyn wasn't welcome. We told them when we made reservations, that there were 4 adults and 1 child, and they gave us a highchair even though we didn't request it (she's used to sitting in big person seats) and yet they didn't provide silverware or a menu for her (I thought at the time they didn't have kids menus, but a quick check online reveals that they do indeed have a children's menu). When the waitress got our drink orders she didn't even ask if Evelyn needed something to drink as well (plus, she seemed put off that three of us were drinking water).  

We ordered, 4 soups, 2 appetizers,  6 entrees, and dessert. The waitress brought us plates for appetizers, but didn't bring 1 for Evelyn, I had to use one of the soup plates so Evelyn could have some food as well. And, she didn't make our sauce so I tried to figure it out even though I've never had it before. 

She came and cleared all our plates (now seeing that Evelyn is indeed eating on her own plate), then brought us dinner plates but again didn't bring one for Evelyn. I was annoyed enough this time that I asked for a plate "for my daughter"  trying to humanize my child. I didn't bring a begging dog to dinner lady, it's a toddler that wants to eat! Okay, she was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day but I'm still supposed to pay her for this service?! 

I have to give her credit: for as terrible as she was in almost EVERY aspect, she did okay on keeping our waters full. Okay. 

When dinner came out she followed it and asked us how it tasted before any of us could even get a scoop onto our plates. She was terrible!

I was curious about some of the different desserts offered with the meal we got and asked her for a dessert menu. She said she could tell me what they had so I tried to explain that I wanted to read the descriptions on the menu because I wanted to know about several items and again she insisted she could tell me all I wanted to know. I asked for a description of two desserts and chose the second one "flour-less chocolate dome". A dessert that she started to argue with me that I was looking at the wrong list of desserts and I had to remind her that it was on the list with an up charge. *She's trying to ruin my chocolate experience!* She described it to me as chocolate cake, with chocolate mousse inside, and raspberry sauce on top. Close, but she failed to mention that it's a warm dish, and there is no mousse inside, just gooey cake. Still tasted good, but not what Cliff and I were expecting to split. And of course, when she brought us dessert, she had no silverware for Cliff and I. When I asked her for some spoons she grabbed another napkin roll (with two forks inside) instead. 

When the bill came I would NOT let Cliff tip her more than 8%. Bare minimum work=bare minimum wages. Bert still wanted to tip 15% (mind you, we're all normally 20-25+% tippers!) so we rounded it to 10% for ease of math. 

After we left and got home I was still really feeling slighted at how we were treated. Mostly, the dessert menu issue, the lack of silverware, and the complete negligence of my child. 

I started to think that maybe they didn't have a dessert menu, and maybe children are frowned upon- so I called the manager. 

Eric was shocked when I told him about my experience. He told me that it is a family establishment and they want children there and right now they are pushing a promotion that EVERY table needs to have a dessert menu at the end of their meal. 

I didn't call trying to get anything, if I had wanted something I would of complained while we were still eating. I called because Cliff and Bert both love PF Changs and yet I was feeling like I never wanted to walk into the restaurant again or even eat their food and I was hoping it was just a misunderstanding (maybe kids aren't welcome kind of thing). 

Eric was very polite and professional to me. He assured me that Roseville has an all star staff and that I will not have that kind of experience again. To urge me to return he is also sending me a gift card. 

I didn't need or ask for  the card but I am grateful for it because I really don't think I would have returned otherwise (or encouraged any friends to patronize the place). 

I will give PF Changs one more chance to change how I felt when I left today. I'm very grateful that Evelyn is young enough that she can be totally oblivious to how she was treated at dinner. She really enjoyed pointing out the statures and lamps and loved the food so her and I will return and give it another shot. 

PF Changs

Enjoy a four-course meal for two for $39.95 Price may vary by location. Tax and gratuity are not included.
CUP OF SOUP (CHOOSE TWO)
HOT & SOUR SOUP  EGG DROP SOUP
STARTERS (CHOOSE ONE)
CHANG'S LETTUCE WRAPS Chicken or Vegetarian  CRAB WONTONS DUMPLINGS Shrimp, Pork or Vegetable  CRISPY GREEN BEANS   SPRING ROLLS (4)   SALT & PEPPER CALAMARI SEARED AHI TUNA* Add 2.45 DYNAMITE SHRIMP   Add 1.45 CHANG'S SPARE RIBS Add 1.95
ENTRÉES (CHOOSE TWO)
	CHICKEN		BEEF & PORK		SEAFOOD
	CHANG'S SPICY CHICKEN  GINGER CHICKEN with BROCCOLI CRISPY HONEY CHICKEN SESAME CHICKEN  ALMOND & CASHEW CHICKEN KUNG PAO CHICKEN  ORANGE PEEL CHICKEN  SWEET & SOUR CHICKEN		MONGOLIAN BEEF BEEF with BROCCOLI PEPPER STEAK  BEEF á la SICHUAN  ORANGE PEEL BEEF  SWEET & SOUR PORK		CRISPY HONEY SHRIMP KUNG PAO SHRIMP  ORANGE PEEL SHRIMP  KUNG PAO SCALLOPS  Add 1.95 SALT & PEPPER PRAWNS Add 1.95 ASIAN GRILLED NORWEGIAN SALMON* Add 2.95 NORWEGIAN SALMON STEAMED with GINGER* Add 2.95 MAHI-MAHI* Add 3.95 OOLONG MARINATED CHILEAN SEA BASS* Add 8.95
DESSERTS
CHOOSE TWO OF OUR EIGHT DELICIOUS MINI DESSERTS Tres Leche Lemon Dream | The Great Wall Of Chocolate® | Triple Chocolate Mousse | Apple Pie Tiramisu | Red Velvet Cake | Creamy Cheesecake | Carrot Cake
- or -
ENJOY ONE OF OUR LARGER DESSERTS BANANA SPRING ROLLS Add 1.95 | FLOURLESS CHOCOLATE DOME Add 1.95 THE GREAT WALL OF CHOCOLATE® Add 3.95 | NEW YORK-STYLE CHEESECAKE Add 1.95

DG's Remains

I wasn't even the one who got to go up in the air and still I'm estatic and giddy with wonderment. A helicopter ride is amazing but to see an ariel view of our camp home is indescribable. Google earth gives a little view but nothing like being this close and landing at your campsite, even if it's only from the pictures and videos my amazing husband shared with me.

We left yesterday evening instead of morning like we originally planned so we got into town much to late to try to find a campsite so we just slept in our car. That did not make for restful sleep for any of us and we were awake by 5:30. No good. It did however mean that we had plenty of time to find the heliport and set up camp at sawmill flat. As we were driving out of camp towards our rendezvous point a couple of the search and rescue jeeps were driving to the mine tailing. As we arrived at the top if the dam our jaws dropped to see just how many people they had helping with the search. It was an insane operation in terms of size for what we were expecting to see. More guys in orange kept showing up!

Sergeant CC told us that she was pretty sure they knew where the clothes were but since we drove all that way she'd still send cliff up in the bird. Turns out she was way off and cliff pointed to exactly where we found the items (you could actually see them from the air). Cliff said the pilot was phenomenal and how he actually did a few 'toe touches' (where he puts the toes of the helicopter down to see if landing would be possible) up and down the valley to test places to drop the search crew. That's right, the search and rescue team (mostly volunteers) got flown in!

When Cliff returned from his flight, before the next group left, they let me and the kids come look at the helicopter and take a few pictures with it. The kids thought it was amazing!

They told us we could check back anytime since they'd be there through Monday but we didn't think we'd be taking them up on the offer. That is at least, until the baby fell asleep in the car and our plans all got pushed back so that she would continue to sleep while we drove around.

























We wanted to go to Courtright Reservoir but it was closed so instead we drove across Wishon and discovered the road was in pretty good condition and went pretty far into the other side of the mountain. After being on that side, I can say that the deer ARE mocking you. They just stand there and stare at you. They don't care if you move, shout, whistle, honk.


While checking out the view of Sawmill Flat from this side of the mountain we noticed the helicopter was very active again, but this time it was empty when it went out towards the camps. This, we figured, only met one thing: they found what they were looking for and were coming out.

We finished up and drove back towards the helipad to get an update:
They were very grateful that Cliff was able to show them the exact spot and they took a cadaver dog to the clothing and it picked up on some remains just up the hill pretty quickly. It then led them down by the river (very, very close to where we thought we found a human leg bone 2 years ago) where they found a portion of his skull, a jawbone with 2 teeth, and a few other bones. The Sergeant said they found everything within an hour an a half! This closed up one of only 3 outstanding cases since 1963! And, they couldn't have done it without us reporting our finds, and showing them the exact location.

By then it was about 12pm and we still wanted to take the kid fishing. All the other lakes were closed so we took the kids to Wishon Reservoir along with everybody else who was there. Cliff and I knew we wouldn't catch any fish- no one was having much luck because the water was SO high, but just letting the kids try was the point. Evelyn found great joy in throwing rocks into the water (and trying very hard to get INTO the water). When we just couldn't take it anymore, we packed up the kids and all the gear. Alex helped reel in Isaac's pole (he was floating power bait while Alex had been lure fishing) and managed to snag a beast of a fish in the process! A beautiful rainbow trout! We took a picture and quickly released it since we didn't have anything to cook it with anyway.

We headed back to camp and made an early dinner (BBQ beans, rice, and weenies) followed by marshmallows and smores. I decided to try Reeses Peanut Butter Cups in my smore... it was a let down to say the least. Bed time came early -7pm for EVERYONE.

Smoke Another One Bro

Today was actually really exhausting. Since yesterday was the last day of school we rented the boys a movie, made pizza and popcorn, and let them stay up until 9 (meaning they didn't go to sleep until 9:30). Normally, they are pretty good about sleeping in but Isaac woke up early and did everything in his power to get his brother to wake up and play with him. Jumping on the bed, throwing things, jumping on his brother.... exhausting. Needless to say the day was filled with MANY challenges and made dual nearly 2yo tantrums look like a walk in the park. 

Kim picked up the boys early and Evelyn was sleeping so I decided to check out Zediva and watch a movie on my computer. I glance out my window to find my neighbors pitbull in my back yard! I run out the back door assuming I was seeing things and I get greeting by a growing dog, then run back into my house before he tries to eat me.

I'm not afraid of dogs, and I have nothing against bully breeds, but this one is growing at me, has access to my backyard, and I frequently allow my children (including my 1yo!) to go into the backyard by themselves! 

The neighbors weren't home (not like I could talk to them without them trying to pick a fight anyway) so I called animal control. They were not able to come by until a few hours later and then all hell broke loose. The dog went back and forth between our yards a couple of times and luckily one of those times I decided it was a good idea to take a picture of it. 

That's right, those are MY flowering green onions and a dog that I don't own!

Turns out, taking a picture was a VERY smart idea. The neighbors denied having any pitbulls (told the cops it was a terrier and in regards to the other one the cop should figure it out for himself) so I told the cop to take a look over the fence for himself and sure enough he saw both pits. When the cop confronted him he kept saying he wasn't home all day (although he kept yelling at me that I should have knocked on his door, not called the cops), the dog isn't a pit, and it wasn't in my yard. Thank goodness for my picture, the cop told him (and I showed him) that I had PROOF. 

Very long story short, the neighbor yelled at the cops for being racist because they believed a white lady over the mexican; the neighbor picked fights with me every chance he could in front of the cops, he lied to the cops, pissed them off, and they said that if it happened again they dogs were getting taken away. 

The cops left, I heard pounding on the fence and rocks getting thrown around (and what sounded like dogs getting kicked) and then yelling. And more yelling. It's a very volatile family so I assumed they were screaming at each other until I started listening and I  heard words and sentences like "You better watch your F*ing back, I'm going to get you, you F*ing B!T@H" etc. I opened my door to see the tall fat wife from next door standing behind her shorter fat (sister?) with her arms spread out acting as if she's holding her back. I calmly asked if she was trying to say something to me (our doors look at each other) and she continues yelling out that she already did, and I should of talked to her-not called the cops, and I should go back to smoking my pot because she's going to get me. 

Can someone please pass me the joint because this house has complained about me from day one that I smoke weed all the time and how dare I use my upstairs bedroom light when it's dark. They don't like how it shines into their room (my blinds are drawn, but light is visible, try drawing your own blinds retards!).  The funny part of this (besides the point that using your household lights is considered normal) is that NEVER in my life have I ever smoked weed. I AM the anti drug. 

Needless to say I called the cops again (who hadn't even left the street). The neighbors denied it all (big surprise) and claimed I was taking pictures of them. Drama, drama, drama!

Paper Starbucks

My day started out so wonderful today! I really didn't want to leave my bed this morning and I heard one of the kids getting ready early in the morning. At 7 (when it's time to wake all the kids up) I thought about staying in bed and hoping it was the right one who I heard get up and ready for school. I didn't want to leave my bed, but I'm a parent and duty called.

Rubbing her tummy. Yummy cookie

I walk into their bedroom and found that only Alex's jammies were in his bed. Good sign. I continue downstairs and learn that he made his lunch and packed it (he forgot that step yesterday), made himself a healthy breakfast *funny story about this*, put the clean dishes away, and was in the middle of doing the dirty dishes. I was flabbergasted. He said he wanted to surprise me and boy did he! Alex loves Starbucks, but I refuse to spend that kind of money normally, so as a reward for his awesome behavior-it continued all day- I took him for a happy hour frappucino. 

I've been wanting to make Red Velvet cake and Starbucks just happened to have Red Velvet Whoopie Pie Petites so I got 2 to try and see how I want to do my own cake. I shared one with Alex and left the other in the bag to get Cliff's opinion. Isaac was throwing up and sick that day so he was upstairs resting, Alex went downstairs to read and enjoy his drink, and Evelyn and I were in the living room- I may have been involved with a computer for a portion of this time.

Remaining wrapper

Next thing I notice is Evelyn saying yummy cookie over and over. When I look over at her I see her covered in red dye, mouth full of cookie, rubbing her belly and saying yummy cookie. I had no reason to get mad (I left it at a reachable height and I allowed myself to be distracted enough to not notice cookie eating sounds) so instead I pulled out the camera. When she started peeling the cookie apart (and making a mess in the process) I decided it was time to take it away. That's when I discovered she ate the cookie AND the wrapper.

*Funny thing happened on Monday. It was their first day back from their moms house and they were both a little grumpy. I asked Alex what he had for breakfast (Isaac chose waffles that day) and he told me he woke up late so he didn't have time to make cheerios which meant he HAD to eat frosted flakes. Because, everyone knows a flakes falls faster into a bowl than a cheerio. .

Fowl Faires and a Little Wine

Happy Mother's Day!

I spent my Mother's Day obligated to absolutely nothing. Great way to spend the day in my mind!

Eating her banana watching the Scots battle

Gina from Cain's Crossing gave me a second day pass so that I could take Evelyn with me to enjoy the fair since we left her behind the day before. I wanted to take her (honestly, horrible as it may be) so that I could see how long it would take before she cried... turns out she loved it (good thing). Joke was on me though because I wasn't really planning on spending that long there but she did NOT want to leave.

I had already spent the previous day wandering around (guided non the less!) so I let Evelyn direct us to where ever her little heart desired. She really loved walking up to the costumed folk... until they started talking, then she would slowly back away and find somewhere else to walk to or point out to me. The gypsies found her very cute and were trying so hard to talk with her but she just stood there before she made up her mind that she didn't like people in costumes talking. She eventually found herself a treasure chest at the pirate ship that captivated her heart pretty well and of course, there were no costumed folks around!

I know I'm not supposed to find enjoyment at other peoples discomfort but while we were watching the Scots battle it out, an older woman approached and said she had something she'd like to give Evelyn. The woman opened her hand revealing several colored glass stones (a dragons tear to protect from bad dreams and sad thoughts-evil spirits) so that Evelyn could choose one, and without hesitation she picked a pretty green one and popped it in her mouth. The poor woman nearly had a heart attack on the spot. Evelyn is very good about not putting inappropriate things in her mouth-when she knows it's inappropriate- but I failed to explain to Evelyn what she was getting before she grabbed it. I bent down and told Evelyn it wasn't food (she spit it out no problems) and that it was a pretties. She was a little mad it wasn't chocolate as she first thought, but she was happy with holding and admiring her new gift afterwards.



I directed her towards the falconers thinking she'd really like the birds and especially the owl, but even though it was turning it's head for us she really wasn't very interested. The tent of Saint Ambrose (next to the falconers) however, was able to convince her to enter their occupied tent with a shortbread cookie. Evelyn was very pleased with that arrangement and then walked happily up and down the rows looking at all the sights, her cookie in hand. She was especially enamored with the knight suit outside the House of Swindon. After that I'd point out the (rare few) walking knights that we would pass and she'd stop and stare. The royal ladies frightened her but the maids (less puffy dresses) and knights she liked. She wasn't even frightened when the tree man walked by or by the House of Payne and their executioners. You can tell she has brothers!


We were about to leave when I saw Fowl Tales Parrot Show getting ready to start. It seemed interesting the day before so I decided Evelyn and I would settle in and maow on our own giant turkey leg (not nearly as tasty as they looked) and watch the show. It was actually pretty funny, and I enjoyed it. While he was setting up Evelyn would point to the parrots and exclaim "CHICKEN!" I would tell her that it was a parrot and ask her if she could say parrot. She would say that she could, and then say chicken again. The Germans behind me thought it was as funny as I did... or they were calling me stupid, one can't be sure.

The show had a segment at the end where he asked the "beautiful, intelligent children" of the crowd to come forward and offer 'more than peanuts'. It took me a couple of minutes to locate my dollars but I found one and by the time I sent Evelyn to place it in the basket (in front of the stage not near me) it had many other bills in it. I can honestly say I was worried that she would try to take money from it, but she put her dollar in just fine, then came back wanting more to place in the basket (I had her gave him more at the end of the show).

 He also did a bit where he asked for a volunteer from the audience to assist him- and I must confess I really appreciated my husband even more after seeing how rude the volunteer was. Why raise your hand to go on stage, not interact, and be a jerk to the performer. It made me sad that there are *ADULTS!* like that.

We made our way  home so we could head up to Robert's for dinner. Unfortunately, she didn't sleep and refused to eat much of the turkey leg but all that considering she was in a really good mood. She wanted to play with Bella so bad but had to settle for swinging in circles with Daddy. Dinner was DIVINE and Evelyn loved it, too! So much actually, that she wasn't willing to wait for me to get the spoon to her mouth and she made a wee mess. She couldn't make up her mind if she wanted to play with Sasha or not and got upset easily when he would try to play with her. Or rather, she would get upset when he changed how she wanted things like magnets on the fridge. At the end of the night though, she said her goodbyes unprompted. "Goodbye, Sasha. Goodbye!". 

My day really wasn't planned, but it turned out better than I could of hoped for. I feel refreshed and ready for a new week.

Cain's Crossing

During the Queens Entrance to the fair I
noticed that they had owls!
They had falcons too but they had OWLS!

I kind of felt like this week just wouldn't end. It has not been one of my shining moments so I was very thankful that I had Cain's Crossing to look forward to today. I wasn't totally sure what to expect of a Renaissance Faire in Auburn but I figured we'd go in, nab some free food from our meal with the queen, get our fencing lesson (the main reason I wanted to go), and cut out all before it got too hot. As it turns out that was NOT how it was going to happen at all (much to my pleasurable surprise, not sure about Cliff's).

Gina, who showed us
around the faire
*Not my Pic or her current costume*

First of all, when we arrived the people at the ticket booth didn't know what to do about our auction paper so they told us to just enter the gate with it... the gentlemen at the gate wasn't comfortable with that and wanted to hear the ticket booth explain that it was okay for us to enter. This went back and forth for a little bit until the decided they needed someone of a higher power. During all this commotion Cliff managed to get inside anyway, while I got detained outside the gate waiting for the Queen to make entrance while they searched for the appropriate person who might know what to do with us or who we were.

See, I really am in the tower. Not much to photograph.
They took a picture of us though.

Our auction gift got us fair entrance, lunch, and a fencing lesson (why we really wanted to come). We didn't realize it would turn us into actual VIP but when the appropriate people all got contacted and confirmed our paper was legit they were quick to put special ribbon pins on us (because lanyards are so 21st century!) and began showing us around the fair in a very high class kind of way. I realized later after reading my auction paper that a guided VIP tour was part of the package. Score.

  *actual wordage: entrance and guided VIP tour of the shire; Repast with Her Most Gracious Majesty, Elizabeth R; and Introduction to the art of fencing for up to 6 people

We were allowed to enter the tower (only the captain of the guard is allowed up there) so they could take a picture of us (not much of one from my end) and walked us through the booths pointing out different interesting facts; the long-bowmen Germans and how obvious their codpieces were (to make up for other *ahem* shortcomings), how EVERYTHING in the fair is handmade, suggested shows, and more. We made a pass by the Queen (whom I had to curtsy for whenever I passed her-not that I mind, just strange in pants) and I figured I was getting a great close up chance. Boy, was that far away compared to my 'repast' with her where we literally rubbed elbows and broke bread together. 

Normally anytime I'm at any kind of fair I want to try the craziest fair food they have, in this case the giant turkey legs.  Instead, I had to convince Tasha to do it (who seems to have a love of fair food similar to my own) since I already had lunch plans with the queen. Excuse me, The Queen. Turnabout is fair play however because after mocking her attempt to de-flesh the giant leg she got to sit with Jared and the kids watching Cliff and I eat in the middle of the fair as passersby took pictures. Cliff again offered his flower to Jared.

Look how close I was to The Queen....
Oh wait, this is only the beginning 

Turns out our lunch with The Queen was literally WITH the queen. As in RIGHT next to her. And to think, I thought walking past her court was going to be a cool picture because I got so close! Cliff and I were literally IN her court, in many peoples snapshots, having a very delicious meal with her listening to her 'royal' harpist play period music for our entertainment. Weird at first, but not something you get to experience *especially not being in costume ourselves!*. The food was never ending trays of 'gifts from the town' and the very best was the quail from the falconers (and if they're to be believed actually hunted by the falcons as well). Several trays of sweets were brought out as well, when we had finished with our main meal. In * slightly changed* words of Mel Gibson "It's good to be the Queen".

Classic Guard Sleeping at his post

How true to character the actors all stay make it quite entertaining. Sir Robert Dudley (the main person besides Gina who conversed with us and was at the table during our meal) made sure to question us about why we would be so improper as to meet the queen with naked heads and me in my undergarments. He explained that when you meet The Queen you put your hat over your heart not for any sentimental reason, but so that your bugs don't get out (or The Queen have to see them). He then went on to tell us how the queen was displeased with him because he arranged amusement at the next stop of hundreds of small animals (piglets, kittens, puppies, gophers, and the such) to be lit on fire and hoisted into the sky. The Queen was not pleased by this idea at all and during our dinner (supper is the last meal) she explained what to do with all the extra animals (kittens taught to mouse, puppies trained to hunt, piglets to feed the poorest towns). 

The falconers visiting The Queen in her court

Our Fencing Instructor
*Not my picture*

During our meal the Danse Macabre Guild paraded through with upbeat music looking like skeletons with happy faces. I assumed it was a dance of the dead but we were informed that it was actually local villagers trying to ward off death from the Black Plague. They dress as though they are already dead & dance through the lanes so The Angel of Death will not visit. See, isn't learning fun?


At the end of our meal we were guided over to Diamond Rose Academie d'Armes for our fencing lesson. There were two instructors for Jared, Cliff, and myself and they taught us 4 of the 8 basic moves. It was very interesting to see how everything in fencing is done in little movements and how strength has nothing to do with it if you know how to move. 

Scottish Demonstration 

Our tour was insightful, our lunch was delicious, and our fencing lesson was fun, but the highlight of the day was our last event when we watched the Daredevil Chickens preform.

Cliff and I still had on our special ribbon flowers that marked us as some sort of VIP (whether or not this actually had any effect on why Cliff got chosen *repeatedly* I doubt it, but at the time, he was convinced of it-those of us watching knew he was chosen because he added to the comedy). There is video, but I have been informed that it actually deters from just how funny they (the chickens and Cliff) actually were.

However, even with our tasty lunch that was followed with our very fun (and much more difficult than expected) fencing lesson the best part was at the end of the day when we watched the Daredevil Chickens. Cliff and I still had on our special ribbon flowers that marked us as sponsors or something (whether or not this actually had any effect on why Cliff got chosen *repeatedly* I doubt it, but at the time, he was convinced of it- those of us watching knew he was chosen because he added to the comedy). There is video, but I have been informed that it actually deters from just how funny they (the chickens and Cliff) actually were.

The show started with the chicken wife (Attila the Hen) catching 3 rings thrown at her simultaneously and caught on her body. Then, the husband chicken chose a member from the audience to attempt the same thing, failure would result in shaming, and success would allow the show to begin. The audience member choice being Cliff. It took two tries, but Cliff did it with flair (the first time really was a bad throw, not a bad catch). When he completed the task he got to sit back down and watch as they selected a child from the audience so that they could make the child fly and land in a *small* net. And then came the fun part, they needed someone to hold that net to catch the child and they saw the best choice-Cliff! So he got dragged up there again.... and they didn't let him come back so easily after that.

Okay, it was so many shades of hilariousness and that's what makes the video so bad: I was laughing so hard and using a small picture camera several rows back, but I'm going to post it anyway. I still find it giggle worthy.

His first time up... you can see he actually tries while he's up there... all the more reason why he got chosen a second time

a bit longer, but the second bit (after he caught the 'flying' boy)

When the chickens finally released Cliff the second time he returned to his seat and tore of his flower pin, positive it was the reason he was selected. Apparently several people noticed this movement and after the show he had his own gaggle of followers (all ladies, probably single) complementing him on his great performance and asking how he got his flower pin that got him selected. 

If having to sit right next The Queen and be photographer throughout our lunch didn't convince him ren fairs are for fools, this probably did. 

We all had a great time and even Cliff was able to leave with a smile on his face, although I doubt he'll wear any special pins before watching a show that uses audience participation again. 

*I talk to much and if you know me then you already know I repeat myself-so you really shouldn't be surprised.